4 Ways to Mange Wedding Stress
Your wedding can be one of the most fun days of your life, but planning it isn’t easy and can trigger a lot of anxiety.
If you are struggling with increased anxiety or stress around the wedding planning, you are not alone. This is something that affects a lot of people around this time, particularly the brides as, traditionally, most (if not all) of the responsibility falls on them when it comes to the planning and organizing. I provide psychotherapy for a lot of women currently planning their weddings and through this work, I have learned the following ways to help manage wedding planning stress and anxiety:
1 of 4 S E L F C A R E I S K E Y
It sounds basic to talk about selfcare in a world where it’s become such a buzzword but it’s true. The Harvard Business Review puts it this way “resilience is about how you recharge not how you endure. We often take a militaristic, “tough” approach to resilience and grit. We imagine a Marine slogging through the mud, a boxer going one more round, or a football player picking himself up off the turf for one more play. We believe that the longer we tough it out, the tougher we are, and therefore the more successful we will be. However, this entire conception is scientifically inaccurate. “ And to recharge you have to take care of yourself. That could mean taking an extra 10 minutes in the shower, eating three meals a deal, getting a 20 minute workout in. Selfcare doesn’t have to be a lavish or extravagant In fact, the most sustainable selfcare actions are the ones that aren’t.
2 of 4 P E R F E C T I O N I S M I S T H E E N E M Y
This is a big one! Most brides often talk about “the perfect day” when planning their wedding but and sacrifice their mental health to get to what the think will get them there. During our work together, I like to help brides to engage in reality testing. To do, I may ask something like: “has anything in your life ever been perfect?” to which you can expect their responses to be along the lines of “not really.” But that doesn’t mean you don’t have “perfectly imperfect moments” worth treasuring forever. You’re wedding will be made up of many of those, and that is okay because it will still be wonderful and absolutely memorable.
3 of 4 D E L E G A T E R E S P O N S I B I L I T I E S
Do you feel the responsibilities are share equitably between your partner and you? if not, then it might be a good idea to ask for help. Having a discussion about how you are feeling might be a good way to get started. For example, using “I feel statements” (I feel exhausted when managing the budgeting responsibilities) can be one of the most effective communication methods to get your partner to feel empathy and understand your side of the story. Follow that by how they can help and make it as specific as possible. Communication between you and your partner is something a therapist can help you learn and practice during sessions so you feel better prepared to have tough conversations. In addition to your partner, explore asking friends and family to take over responsibilities that you had decided to do yourself because they just had to be done perfectly. And remember that your mental health is top priority.
4 of 4 T A L K T O A T H E R A P I S T
Talking to a therapist to manage wedding stress cannot only be a great way to learn new coping skills that work to manage your anxiety but it can also create the perfect safe space for you to get the emotional support you need without judgement or criticism. Therapy is not a place where we just vent, we learn new skills to improve our situation and manage our difficult feelings. That being said, a therapist is a person that will offer a lot of validation and support and will meet you where you’re at.
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